Wednesday, March 6, 2013

She knew my Facbook Password!


She knew my Facbook Password!

The Bathtub Test


During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well,” said the director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a tea-spoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.” “No.” said the director, “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Bihar School Teacher's killer English


  • Pick up the paper and fall in the dust-bin!
  • Both of you three, stand together separately! 
  • Will you hang that calendar or I'll "Hang Myself!" 
  • Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father! 
  • Why are you looking at the monkey outside when Im in the class...?
  • I have 2 daughters: both are girls. 
  • Stand in the middle of the corner!

The common man finally gets his way



The Common Man finally gets his Way.

Worst Day of Life



There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink . He stays like that for half-hour.

Then, this big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying.

The truck driver says: " Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."

"No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life.

First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, outrageous, fired me. When I left the building to my car,

I found out it was stolen.

The police, they said they couldn't do anything.

I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab.

I got home only to find my wife was with the gardener.

I left home and came to this bar. When I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison ..."

angry german kid



Angry German Kid

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Funny Letter to Santa Claus


Funny Letter to Santa Claus

Application for Employment (Funny Letter)


Application for Employment (Funny Letter)

Bride for My Son


Bride for My Son

Interview of Santa


  • Interviewer : Let me check your word Power.
  • Santa : Okay Sir.
  • Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of good.
  • Santa : Bad
  • Interviewer : Come
  • Santa : Go.
  • Interviewer : Ugly.
  • Santa : Pichlli.
  • Interviewer : PICHLLIIIII?
  • Santa : UGLYYYYYYYYY.
  • Interviewer : Shut Up.
  • Santa : Keep Talking.
  • Interviewer : Okay now stop all this.
  • Santa : Now carry on all this.
  • Interviewer : What the Hell is wrong with you?
  • Santa : What the heaven is right with you.
  • Interviewer : Get Out.
  • Santa : Come In.
  • Interviewer : Oh my God.
  • Santa : Oh my Devil.
  • Interviewer : You are Rejected.
  • Santa : I m selected...
Thank you so much Sir!

Letter from Husband (who is abroad) to Wife


Dear Sweetheart,

I can not send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart

Your husband,
Arun

His wife replied back after some days to her husband :

Dearest sweetheart,

Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.

1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him Some other items……. ….
5. Other expenses 40 kisses

Please do not worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.

Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!

Your Sweet Heart

Killing English


  • Principal to student..." I saw you yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigarette... ? "
  • Class teacher once said :" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
  • Once Hindi teacher said...."I'm going out of the world to America.."
  • "Don't Try To Talk In Front Of My Back.."
  • Don't..laugh at the back benches...other wise teeth and all will be fallen down.....
  • It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. And then she said " why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)
  • Teacher in a furious mood... write down your name and father of your name!!
  • "shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"
  • My manager started like this "Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"
  • "Will you hang that calendar or else I’ll hang myself"
  • Librarian Scolde ," If u will talk again , I will kneel down outside"
  • Chemistry HOD comes and tells us... "My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"
  • Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father.
  • "Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am in the class?!"
  • Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code.. "I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??
  • Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class.. "Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"
  • Once teacher told "If you Talk so loudly I will stand uping you"
  • Teacher to students: don’t spit outside, the understanding people will suffer
  • I have 3 daughters, All are girl.

A Letter of Banta Singh to Bill Gates about Windows Problem?



Microsoft's Bill Gates decided to invest further in Punjab after receiving a letter from Mr Banta Singh. 

To : Bill Gates, Microsoft
Date : 1 April 2011
Subject : Problems with my new computer 

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.. 

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.


2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot to trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when will you provide that? 

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when will you provide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single picture of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC only at home.

8. You provide 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after office hours. 


Regards,

Last one Mr. Bill Gates

PS : Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?

Exam Tension


Exam Tension

PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON T-Mobile Royal Wedding SPOOF Commercia...



Prince William and Kate Middleton T-Mobile Royal Wedding Spoof Commercial
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